Saturday, November 14, 2009

This won't be original..

This maybe one of those things I do, and wake up the next day and wonder why I had. For years now, my heart's desire to write and expound my thoughts in public have been sort of caught up, tangled up, and/or mixed up with lots of feelings of, am I boasting? am I bragging? am I stupid?am I original?
It's taken some time now to really attempt to cultivate any desire to write. In the past, I've written my thoughts and they've either found their way to the recycling bin on my desktop, my saved documents, or maybe if I would gather the cahonez to post it on facebook and sort of wait for some sort of response as if that was it's purpose in the beginning. What is interesting to me is already I am milling over the thought of "success". Maybe a better word is popularity.For this.For some reason a blog seems to be a source of gaining that sort of "casual popularity" people enjoy so that they and I could find minimal boasting in it and write it off as nothing. But boasting is boasting to call a spade a spade.
After some time though I was wanting an "out" for some of my thoughts,the one's I may think matter or make sense really haha. I've come to a point where I am not really concerned with popularity or success over my thoughts. I understand that probably sounded arrogant. I've become aware that I have had this attempt for some time of trying to come up with an "original thought" in regards to Jesus, the gospel, Christianity, life, etc that might make people take notice. Why? My sin says, "be original". My God says, "I'm original". or rather,
"I am".
To call a spade a spade.
I enjoy talking. I enjoy writing. I wish I had time to talk more to people. So this is the grind of this brew.
To do so because all I can or would want to do goes back to Him despite my attempts to do otherwise..
Welcome! I look forward to what comes..


  1. Ben,

    I can't wait to here more. The KStones of the world will tell you blogging is arrogant lol, bragging, or something. But memory is lost in time and my blogs from years ago are priceless to me because I would have forgotten - memories that include even yourself that you perhaps forgot with time. Share your life, share your mind, because if you don't you might let go of something that was once important to you.

  2. I think your next post should be about gluten-free communion bread and its resemblances to doughnuts.

    just a suggestion...